Friday, September 16, 2011

Due Date + 1

Well, here we go again. Another little Fuhriman insisting on being late to her own party. Yesterday's due date came and went but at least this time around I had absolutely no expectation that it would be any different. Who knows how long I have left? My overcooked little turkey is squatting in my ultra-plush bed-and-breakfast, paying no rent, and getting plumper (and therefore more difficult to evict) by the day.

Official Baby Eviction Notice
I, the Landlord (Mommy), am issuing a notice for EVICTION. Tenant (Baby) will have to comply and promptly vacate the premises.

The Tenant is being evicted due to breach of contract and destruction of property. Contract clearly states that length of lease was limited to 40 weeks. Additionally, expansions only to the FRONT of the house, within reasonable limits, were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back and sides of the house were also made without approval from the Landlord.

Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. Due to the damage by the Tenant, the foundation has been compromised, and the structural integrity of the house is questionable. The Landlord (Mommy) has also received numerous complaints about frequent nightly disturbances.

If Tenant (Baby) does not comply with this notice, the Landlord (Mommy) and the Overseer (Daddy) will explode and possibly lose their minds. But especially the Landlord. Thankyouverymuch.


[M] said...

oh man. sorry. you can always get out the breast pump to get things going:)but don't do it if you want to go natural because your contractions might come on too strong I've heard...

hang in there!

Emalei said...

You are so clever! I am still giggling! The best thing that ever happened to me was being induced! Can you imagine if he was 9.5 lbs a week early, how much he would have been on time, or heaven forbid, late!? I hope for your sake she comes today! Good luck! Can't wait to see pics!