Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The verdict is in!

I woke up yesterday to snow being flung out of the sky like confetti. Very fluffy and thick and white. Though in general I've been feeling better, the night before I'd been up feeling sick and not able to sleep much. I had to drink 16 oz or more of water an hour before the ultrasound and I wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom, which was an Olympic feat in itself, to go along with the event of getting Dave and myself out of the house on time. But perfectly when we should, we headed out the door and I was very pleased because I hate being late. We got to the car.

"We need to stop for gas," Dave said when we got in. Um... okay. We could probably still manage. "Oh," he said. "and I need to drop off my dry cleaning." What? "And do you have your new insurance card? We have to switch our information when we get there." (Which takes 15 minutes.) Bah! In two seconds, we had gotten ourselves 25 minutes behind schedule!

I fruitlessly argued against pre-appointment dry-cleaning drop-off-age but Dave insisted so I simmered irritatedly all the way to the doctor's office. Dave swore he could still get us there on time. I doubted him wholeheartedly. He was right though! Miraculously we got there on time and didn't even have to worry about the insurance until after the ultrasound.

We got inside the ultrasound room and a resident was learning how to do them, helped along by an experienced doctor who directed her. Now, my uterus is especially sensitive to begin with. I don't even lay my hands on it when I lie down because even pressure like that is uncomfortable. Well, before I knew what was happening, the probe was on me, pushing down so hard I thought I might burst. I stared at Dave in horror and squeezed his hand, mouthing, "I will die. I am dying. Stop her." But we were helpless. I thought about lab rats and almost cried. I did not think I could take it 5 minutes, much less the hour they tell you to expect. I voiced my concerns and discomfort and asked if it was normal to be experiencing this. This was my polite way of avoiding screaming into her ear that she was abusing me and maybe I would drive a mac truck over her abdomen to see if she would enjoy the very similar experience. She responded breezily that everyone was different and she was sure the discomfort was normal.

A few minutes later her part was done and she left and the real doctor took over. What an amazing difference! All of a sudden the probe was lightly gliding over me, not uncomfortable at all, like a happy walk in the park! The idiot just hadn't known what she was doing! I hastened to alert the doctor of her own genius ultrasound skills and quickly threw the resident under the bus for her inept ways.

We were asked if we would want to know the gender of the baby, to which we responded in the very enthusiastic affirmative. A few minutes later, with no warning, amidst mumbles about head circumference, kidneys, and femur length, the doctor very calmly announced it.

"Mumble mumble... centimeters, mumble mumble... artery, mumble mumble... it's a girl." What?!? I erupted into cheers of joy. I wasn't even prepared! I thought she would make a bigger deal of it! I sat there in shock and Dave grabbed my hand and said smiling to the doctor, "She got her wish."

A few tears leaked out which I bravely pretended didn't exist when offered a Kleenex, and I basked in the glow of the knowing. Then it occurred to me that we better be sure about this.

"So..." I began politely, "now, how exactly sure are you? You said it is a girl, but would you say you are, oh, seventy percent sure, for instance? What are my odds here?" She kindly informed me that she was not just saying it was a girl because she didn't see a penis, but in fact, she was quite sure because she had seen the structure of the labia and knows what she is talking about because she has been doing this since 1976. That was good enough for me. I mentally floated away on a pink-tinted Cloud 9 and began dreamily planning a blush-colored nursery and some rosy-hued birth announcements.

The baby is very healthy and moved around a lot (they called her a wild-child as she flipped about during the examination). We got some good pictures too. The first one looks like the baby is throwing her head back and laughing while smoking a cigar.




17 comments:

Jessica said...

Yay! A girl!
Now it's time to start shopping!

HapEMomE said...

Woohooo! How exciting!!!!!! I am seeing soooo much PINK :) What cute ultrasound pics :) Congrats!
~Chelsea

Courtney said...

Yay!! Congrats, you guys!! Oh.....I can already envision all of the cute little outfits you will dress her in!! Now, if only you could agree on a name.....

P.S. I would strongly advise that you nix having any residents/med students involved at all in your care when you're in labor. Otherwise, your birthing canal will become like a 7-11, open all the time for whoever wants to stop by. Sorry about that visual, but it's true. And you have a right to kick them out.

PDXTingeys said...

Yay!!! I'm so excited for you!! Now we can go shopping for everything pink.

Dave Fuhriman said...

Editor's Notes (again):
- we didn't arrive on time, we arrived EARLY -- we were checking in 2 minutes before our appointment.
- Jessica failed to mention that I secured the absolute best parking spot west of Portland -- I had to check three times that it wasn't a disabled spot, that's how good it was. Out of our doctor's window I would barely glimpse our car in the parking lot, but I stared at it, still amazed at how awesome that spot was.
- Shopping -- ugh. And arrrgh.

Valerie and Mercado Family said...

Hooray! I'm so excited for you! I don't need to say that girls are so fun, b/c you already know that! Dave needs to let you pick out the name.

Emily said...

her cute little nose and profile! I may just die! I've all ready got pink coming out my ears!!!

Erica said...

CONGRATS!!! Girls are really fun! And it's so wonderful to see your husband with a sweet little girl, it will melt your heart.

Robyn said...

Isn't it funny how the technicians could care less what you are having, yet it means the whole world to you? They made us wait the entire time to find out with Sophie and Gunner's ultrasound lasted like 20 minutes, it was so fast. Congrats on the girl. Now the name???

Emily said...

Congratulations, Jessica!! That's so exciting! And I'm at my parent's house right now and I won't see Delori and Lita to share the news until Sunday! But they might see your blog before then... fun..!!

Cooper Family said...

Congratulations! Your next task will be deciding on a name! Arrrgh! Good luck!

Blythe said...

Oh my GOSH!! Congratulations! I've always wanted to have a girl first because seriously...how CUTE are little girl clothes? I am so so so happy for you guys!

M-A said...

SO excited for you!!!!! And maybe a little jealous:) So glad you get to dream about pink...

Jason said...

Congratulations, Jessica and Dave. Some words of advice for the editor and expectant father. Get used to pink. If you thought pink was overwhelming your life before, it's going to get worse. Just make sure Jessica keeps the pink out of your golf bag. Also, don't listen to my wife about who names the girl. Start throwing out names like Bertha and Eunice, so that when you come up with a sensible name it's better received. You'll probably still lose, but it's worth a shot. Good luck and congrats!

nicole said...

Hopefully she will get Jessica's lovely looks and Dave's amazing capacity for trivia -- a brainy bombshell.

Todd Hillyard said...

I'm so happy I can hardly stand it. And I truly laughed out loud about 7 different times in the process of reading your write up. I love it. This is the greatest news!

McKeehan's said...

I'm so glad its a girl! I've been waiting to find out and I am going to love making something REALLY girly and pink for her!