Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Snow and cheese

I woke up this morning to blizzard-like conditions, which was slightly inconvenient as I stood outside with Pixie for her morning pee-pee in my shorts and flip flops. I did not previously know that I am not a fan of snow. I did not previously know that "Oregon" is a euphemism for "Antarctica".

At Costco the other day, I bought a 3,000-pack of American cheese. I haven't bought American cheese in years, but it had added calcium and I thought I could make grilled cheeses, and frankly, pregnancy tastes are weird.

Dave saw it when he looked in the fridge that night and made a distasteful face, insinuating something along the lines of my cheese being crappy and cheap.

"You don't like American cheese?" I asked him.

"I hate it!" he bellowed, downing some of his expensive Muenster in protest.

Moral of the story: that was less than a week ago and my monster mega-pack is now half gone. I've had about two slices. Someone though has since made himself 400 grilled-cheese sandwiches, has been pairing the slices with his daily fried eggs, and eats about 10 plain the moment he gets home from work. That someone has also been more-than-usually inclined to treat Pixie, who receives a slice or two every time she walks by.

But it can't be Dave. Because he hates American cheese.

7 comments:

Emily said...

HAHA!!! Grilled Cheese is yummy but you must have someone living in your basement who eats it because it sure can't be Dave :) haha (ps my blog is fixed)

Courtney said...

I have a monster like that living in my apartment, too, excepting that mine eats ALL of my chocolate.

Staci said...

I'm on Dave's side. How is he supposed to know that American cheese isn't all bad?

Dave Fuhriman said...

True to my curmudgeon, wet-blanket self oh-so-humorously portrayed on this blog, I'd like to offer a teeeensy teeeeny fact-check:
- Jessica bought a 96-slice cheese pack... and there are 80 left. I used 3 slices to make a grilled cheese sandwich for Jessica, which she then fed to Pixie because it was overcooked. ("cough" "DIVA" "cough" "cough")
- Yesterday I was going to offer Pixie some of my "expensive", Kroger-brand Muenster cheese when Jessica urged me not to waste it on her. Yes, this is the woman who named her blog after Said Dog.
- I can vouch for one thing -- pregnancy tastes are weird. But I love my wiff.

Sincerely,

Husband

Jessica said...

Dear Hubb,

You marinate in lies. True, you did make me a grilled cheese that was burnt and got fed to the tiny canine of the home, but this does not negate your hundreds of personal sandwiches. If it's not you, I guess it's still a mystery- where did all the cheese go?

Wiff

nicole said...

American cheese is truly only good for grilled cheese sandwiches and dogs. I am a provolone or gouda person myself.

Robyn said...

I am simply jealous of your winter. We in our lovely Montana have had maybe two droppings of snow. Perhaps you should move to Montana and bring the snow with you. Plus,every one here does the natural child birth thing, if you are still contemplating that!