Thursday, July 2, 2009

Someone save me

Can anxiety bring on depression?

I am at my wit's end. We are moving. The new house isn't ready. The old house isn't ready. I have done tons of packing. There is still tons to go. There is stuff everywhere. We're having the carpets cleaned today. We're having the moving truck tomorrow. I feel sick. I feel tired. I lay down constantly but can't nap because I am too stressed out about everything that still needs to be done but then I wander from room to room staring at everything and before I know it two hours have gone by and I've done nothing but walk a mile through the rooms, make my headache worse, and give myself some contractions. Also, I am apparently having the first-ever case of late-third-trimester-onset morning sickness. I have felt sick every day for a week. And so bone-tired that even getting up and trying to do the dishes or laundry seems a herculean task. Dave is being very helpful. I am being less so. I KEEP JUST WANDERING THE HOUSE. I am incapable of making decisions on what to do next and feel overwhelmed and miserable. For about a week I have had bad anxiety. Today I believe it's given way to depression. I am moping and inefficient and so tired and I HATE MOVING and I am not good at it. I've had two separate nightmares that Dave's parents have gotten home early and the house is not properly cleaned yet. In one of the dreams I hid in a closet out of fear. I hid in a closet. This is a telling indication of my mental state. As in: Not. Good.


Valerie and Mercado Family said...

Oh, how awful! Moving is very stressful! We moved during both of my pregnancies with the girls, but the military paid movers to pack us, and it was stressful enough! Anxiety can bring on depression and a lot of people don't talk about the depression pregnant women go through,they only talk about postpartum depression. (I'm always more depressed when I'm pregnant than after.) Just don't overdo it. Have Dave call the compassionate service director to have sisters help you, seriously!

Blythe said...

Oh Jessica, that post made me feel awful! You poor thing. I wish I was there to help you! I hate hate hate moving with a fiery passion, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to go through all of that while you're pregnant!

Dave needs to call in the troops. He should call your ward and your neighbors and everyone you've ever met in the area and get them over there to help!

Staci said...

Actually, Victoria always said that anxiety and depression go hand in hand. You get worn out by anxiety, and then depression is inevitable.

You are going to have to just buckle down and handle one thing at a time. Remember when I moved to Brentwood, had a little baby and had to start managing the building right away? I really do get how you are feeling. Don't kill yourself, just take one thing at a time.

I agree with Valerie, pregnant women are really prone to intense emotions including anxiety and depression.

It will be okay. It will work out. Don't give up! Also, read First Nephi Chapter 16 and 17. The Lord can give you strength when you have none left.

melis said...

Oh no Jess, this sounds bad. I know how bad anxiety is because I've had it on and off for the past few years. Please get whatever help you can get with the moving. And just take care of yourself. It doesn't matter if the house is a dirty ol pile.

Courtney said...

Jess, I agree with what everbody else is saying. You are 8 months pregnant, and should NOT be doing what you are doing.

Have Dave get some people in to help, because all this anxiety and depression is not good for you or the baby!!

Love you!!

Emily said...

You hid in the closet? Oh, dreams are funny... I'm sorry you're stressed, but keep in mind that even if Dave's parents did get back early and you didn't have the house properly cleaned yet, I doubt they would freak out on you guys, here you are, moving and about to have a baby? I bet they would be pretty understanding. Of course, it's easy to just get wrapped up in what all needs to be done and get stressed about it, but try not to!