Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A rundown for your pleasure

All of the pregnancy books tell you to expect some side-effects of Human-Harvesting. Here is my personal rundown:

My nose: Stuffy and sneezy every morning. Excessively. Continues to amaze both Dave and I. (Thank you Costco for selling tissue boxes in bulk.)

Stretch marks: Yes.

Heartburn: Very mild.

Waking up to pee in the night: Not even once in all these months.

The scale: Not my friend.

Back: Hurts when I wake in the morning, but fine throughout the rest of the day.

Pelvis: Aches

Leg cramps: Only once!

Zits from hormones: Mild. Not much to complain about.

Fingers: One ring-size bigger.

Swelling: Feet and ankles once, extreme. Feet two other times very mildly.

Braxton hicks: Yes.

Fetal movement: A child that kicks and wiggles like a psychopathic maniac, with a strength of limbs and force of blows that is staggering. She must be eating her spinach (or slurping its placential nutrients) because she's a strong one.

Constipation: No.

Belly button: Pokes out like a pig snout.

Appetite: Indecent.

Desire to eat healthfully: Nil.

Thoughts and intentions to exercise: Extensive.

Actual exercise: Much less. Slow walks with Davey (who makes lots of comments about the slowness).

Stomach: Firm and hard.

Rest of body: Not so much.


Staci said...

You are cute.

I can't wait to watch grow as a mother through the years. Thanks for being my friend, and "getting it" right off the bat.

Little Annalise is a lucky girl!

Courtney said...

You haven't had to get up to pee even ONCE during your entire pregnancy?! I always wake up AT LEAST once a night to pee, and I'm not even pregnant!!

No fair!!

Blythe said...

I was going to say the same exact thing as Courtney! You're pregnant, yet never need to pee in the middle of the night? What the...?

Jessica said...

I know! Awesome, huh? :)

Dave Fuhriman said...

Just a clarification -- she said she didn't have to GET UP to pee in the middle of the night... she didn't say she didn't pee, if you catch my drift.

Emily said...

Hahahaha Dave.

Julie and Todd said...

I'm with everyone else. I peed, on average, two times every night. Once around 2:30 and once around 5 a.m.

Kristen said...

followed staci's blog here. cannot bounce away without adding my astonishment and disgust at you not having to get up to pee. SO not fair. ;)