Just Say No!

When a stranger wants something from you, they are always just a little too friendly.

Yesterday I sat in the car with Pixie while Dave ran into the grocery store to get some boxes for moving. My window was down and a lady pulled up next to me and started a conversation about loving Yorkies. As this is a conversation I could have all day, all was pleasant. After about ten minutes though, the tone got extra-friendly.

"You and your husband just seem so cool," the flattery began. (She had not met my husband.) "And I started working for this financial company and if you guys are looking for work, you know, after you have the baby, you should totally do it too! Because I make so much money... blah blah blah..." She went on and on, selling away for her company. I wished I could run away, but I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car with no keys.

I did not want a job and I most certainly did not want her job that she obviously gets commission for if I sign up. But since I had sat there and talked to her so long I felt bad to just blow her pushy self off.

"Uh, well, I'll take your card if you have one," I said, trying to be nice.

"Oh yes, and let me get your name, and number..." And address, and email, and life history...

Grudgingly I gave her my LA cell phone (which is about to be cancelled since I switched to AT&T) and finally she and her sales tactics peeled themselves away, but only after Dave came back and got in the car and stared at her like he wanted to leave. I was mad at myself. Why couldn't I just say no? Didn't I learn that in D.A.R.E.? It seemed so easy then. Why couldn't I say I wasn't interested without feeling ashamed and beholden, like I have to do anything anybody asks me? I was very annoyed with the situation and myself. I vowed it would be different next time.

Today in the parking lot of a different grocery store, I heard someone call out 'hi' to me in just a little too friendly of a tone.

"Hi," I said warily to the girl. I was not currently in the mood (nor am I ever in the mood) to be propositioned for anything. She launched into a shpiel about perfumes, and don't I like wearing perfume? And here, let her spray one wrist with this scent, and the other wrist with another scent, and my forearm with a third scent and blah blah blah would I like to buy two of them for just $55?

I looked her right in the eye.

"That's more than I'm looking to spend today," I said bravely.

"Then how about $40?" she countered swiftly.

"Still too much for me," I managed.

"I'll cut my commission in half and take $20! That's fair, right?"

"Very fair! I just don't want to spend the money!" I told her. I forced myself to just look into her eyes and be genuine. It was hard. Having to say no all these times in a row was wearing me down. Help!

"Okay, then how about if you just give me anything you have?" she said. "Even a dollar would help. My boss gets most of my commission, after all." She smiled winningly at me. She wasn't even homeless and now she was begging? Whaaa? I should have begged her right back. My husband has me on a strict budget and I need some expensive stuff. Give ME a dollar!

"Not today," I mustered bravely.

This does not sound like a big deal, but for me it was. I was honest. I didn't make up that I didn't have cash. I didn't pretend I don't wear perfume. I didn't avoid her eyes or run away or pretend I didn't hear her when she called out to me. I very honestly and openly just said no. And miracle! Just like my D.A.R.E. officer told me I'd be, I was proud of myself.