So I don't eat them. I kind of avoid them at all costs. I once had a boyfriend this caused problems with. (He tried to force me to eat a blueberry. For obvious reasons, the relationship ended.)
No one understands me. Lots of folks try to talk me out of my fear. But it is irrational- I am just afraid. For instance, even though I have eaten red grapes millions of times and know in my HEAD that I like them, if I am at a store I would ALWAYS pick their pale green compatriots instead. And I think I actually like the taste of the red ones better. But they're so PURPLY. So I can't.
I know. I have a sickness.
I will eat raspberries. I will eat strawberries (though not when I was little- I clearly remember KNOWING they had to be spicy- they were red and had seeds for heaven's sake!) I have never tried a blackberry. Or a gooseberry (are they dark? they sound scary regardless) or a boisenberry or even a cherry (except maraschino and except in pies. Pies are okay.) I have eaten two blueberries in my life (except blueberry muffins. Blueberry muffins are okay.) One of those blueberries was ingested today. Readers should be proud.
I decided I needed to use the KitchenAid again (hereafter to be known as 'Pinky'). Pinky helped create a delightful batch of chocolate cookies with Reese's peanut butter chips last week, so why not muffins in one of my seven thousand new muffin pan wedding gifts? Once Dave asked me to water some blueberry bushes in the backyard (I may have forgotten to do that) which surely indicated that some of the tiny blue monsters might still be lurking out there. So I went to investigate. And what did I find?
A bush with perfectly ripe berries! If I liked blueberries I might have even been excited about this!
At the very least, it meant I could make my muffins.
The bad thing was, I accidently brought 2 spiders inside with me, both of which jumped out to kill me at separate times, the second of which causing an embarrassing scream/grunt to erupt from my mouth and berries to spill unpleasantly about the kitchen floor.
But the results were delish! I substituted Splenda for sugar and YUM YUM HEALTHY YUM! It was a success!