Annalise's Diary Entry

(Posted by Dave)

Dear Diary,


I'm now in Day 10 of my experience in the outside world. Still no signs of anyone who speaks my language, just a couple big people that sound like Charlie Brown's teachers as far as I'm concerned. I continue to lay low, spending my days sleeping, eating and crying with some diaper changes in between. I like to play a fun game with the Big People where I move my feet around at diaper-changing time and see if they'll stop me from stepping in, well, "it." They weren't so fast the first few times but they're starting to catch on. The bigger one of the Big People is a particularly slow learner, and actually thinks that I enjoy kisses on my face, nights in a sling and songs proclaiming love for me. He'll be the first one I eliminate once I learn how to walk and use a shovel.

I have made one breakthrough with the outside world; although the big people are oblivious to the statements of insight and vast intelligence hidden in my pterodactyl-like cries, there is a hairy beast, slightly smaller than me, that appears to respond to and understand my screaming sermons. I sense her presence most when I am falling asleep. She tends to cuddle up next to me and, on occasion, lick my appendages or just sniff around my head, ears and diaper. I believe this beast is referred to by the Big People as "Pixie" or just "Rat."

I find that I actually have much in common with this Pixie. We both relieve ourselves, practically, at our own leisure. Neither of our languages are understood by the Big People, and yet we are adorned with clothing and accoutrements in spite of our protestations. We are both capable of emitting sounds that are very disturbing to the Big People and prevent them from gaining any sleep advantage on us (we both sleep for most of the day). This "Pixie" has apparently found a way to get solid Big People food by standing on her hind legs at meal times. I have tried this technique, but I found that I first need to learn how to hold my own head up. "Baby steps," as they say here.

I have enclosed a picture showing me and this hairy creature. I trust that we will become very good friends, and allies in our battle against the Big People for many years to come.

More to come later -- It's too quiet in this house, and I have a diaper to fill.