Not really. But I love him, whoever he is. I would like to give him ten bazillion dollars. I would like it if he enjoyed the rest of his days in ease on a remote isle. I would peel his grapes and give him back scratches whenever he asked. I would pay a thousand dollars for each of his pills.
(Cue choirs descending from heaven): HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!
I took one at 10:15 am yesterday and they are only supposed to last 6-8 hours. It is nearly 24 hours later. AND I FEEL GREAT!!!!!! It's like it changed my brain chemistry or something.
The pharmacist looked at my bill and said, "Okay, 30 pills, that's $501.00."
"What about my insurance?" I asked, rummaging for my wallet. (I wasn't about to argue it- give me those pills if I have to mortgage the house.)
"Oh," she said. "Ten bucks."
A new pharmacist came to give me the precious bottle of pills and cautioned, "Only use this if you really need it."
"I really need it," I assured her.
"Well, don't take it just because," she said. "Wait until you need to take it."
"I need to take it right this second," I insisted, pointing to my bottle of water at the ready, also purchased at the pharmacy, for purposes of chugging said pills instantaneously upon receipt.
She handed me my bag, leaned down, and almost whispered, "This is a miracle drug."
How right she was.